Sunday, October 9, 2016

5 months later

Five months, five months of pure determination, and dedication. Five months of pushing myself to new limits, trying new foods, and just getting over the fact that sometimes you are just going to have to drink warm water.

Five months ago I found myself in the end of my junior year of high school. Unhappy with myself and in denial that I was insecure with my body. I could not even walk into school without questioning if the girl looking at me was judging me or if it was just a coincidence that she was looking my way. Being a girl in high school is already hard enough. Having the "weight" on your shoulders of being insecure with your body is something common in girls my age, but at the end of my junior year I didn't want to have that "weight" anymore. I needed to take care of my body like God designed me to.  God gave me so many signs and bible scripture that this was the time. Time to take care of your body. Over eating was not what God designed me to do. I needed to look good for senior pictures, I had my whole senior year to enjoy. I needed to do this. Not only for myself, but to be an inspiration to other girls. Girls need to know that it is possible to be happy with your body, and you can change in a healthy way, instead of going vegan, vegetarian, or on a no carb diet. Trust me, I still eat carbs.

I had just watched my cousin drop 50 pounds with the help of Kendra Stauffer. I was amazed but I was at a time in my life I was so insecure that I did not want the help of anyone because I thought "I got myself into this mess, I am going to get myself out of it". But lets face it doing it on my own did not work. I had no self control at this point, and no accountability. So then I started watching my mom work out with one of Kendra's group, Swole Sisters (I still had never met Kendra, but thought I would watch a class), I have never in my life watched girls be so supportive towards one another. Picking each other up and not dragging each other down. This was probably the biggest reason I never went to the gym, I was so tired of feeling like I was being judged for trying to work out and become a better me. But when I met this group of girls they were so welcoming. This is when I finally met Kendra. Let me tell you I was scared, scared because I thought that she was going to be ashamed, ashamed because I was over weight at such a young age, but Kendra was the total opposite. 1. She was totally welcoming and never once did I get the feeling that she was too busy for me. 2. Never once did she think my age was a bad thing, but instead she was so supportive that I wanted to change my lifestyle at 17 years old. After the first time we met, I decided to try it out and "just see where things would go". 

So I guess I was hooked from there on out, but let me tell you it was never always sunshine and butterflies, the past five months have been the hardest days of my life. Not only was the training sessions, and cutting out all bad sugars hard, but I got some horrible news and my life was turned upside down just one month into my lifestyle change. My mom had a tumor, not just a tumor, but a tumor that was damaging her spinal cord. As many of you know, my mom is my best friend, and she was one of the people that kept pushing me to keep going when I just wanted to go back to my old ways and eat my feelings away. But I just found out that my mom is going to have surgery on her neck and spinal cord, and there was a chance she wasn't going to come out alive. I wanted to give up, give up not because I am a quitter but because I did not think that I was going to be able to handle taking care of my mom, meal prepping, and fitting in a workout schedule, but let me tell you Kendra was with me every step of the way. Every single step. If I would have a bad week with my water intake or food, Kendra never would drag me down, she would always find a way to bring out the positive side of things. I truly believe that God knew that I needed her to get me through my mother's illness. God knew that if I was going to get through it and keep my diet clean, He knew I would need her accountability, and I am totally blessed that Kendra has always been there for me.

As my mom keeps getting better, I keep pushing myself to get better. I will truly say that being half way to my goal is super exciting and this week hitting - 30 pounds since I started was like a breathe of fresh air. I though the day would never come, but over the past few weeks I have learned that the scale does not show the whole story. I would go two weeks without any weight loss, but the results in the mirror would be outstanding. I would be so disappointed when I would send in my weekly weigh in, but the great thing is, Kendra taught me to not be consumed by the number on the scale. Yes, it is a hard thing to do, but eventually I finally got the lesson.

I also want to talk about Dynamic Fitness. This is where I train. In my free time, this is where I am at. I was so intimidated by this place at first, but I was so wrong. This gym is really a family. When one person succeeds, we all celebrate. It is not a competition like many other gyms. I cannot even begin to tell you how many people have congratulated me on my progress, and boosted my confidence. I never see myself going anywhere else to seek out the rest of my goals.

So this is where I am at. I know many of you guys have asked what I do to lose my weight, and I truly do three things, eat clean, drink a gallon of water a day, and work out. I am not starving myself like some of the girls at school think I am. I am not on a fancy diet, I just eat clean. All of my progress has come from the kitchen and the gym. I'm eating to live, not living to eat anymore. And let me tell you I am the happiest I have ever been, and cannot wait to reach the other half of my goals. I just want to thank Kendra again for sticking with me and pushing me to do things I never thought was possible. You truly are my person. (sorry if you don't get the Grey's Anatomy analogy)

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