It's something that all women struggle with. Body image, loving the way they look. You stand in the mirror, starring, wondering why your stomach can't be flat and why can't I have a body like a supermodel.
I struggled with body image for 17 years. All of my life I was considered "overweight". It never really bothered me when I was little. Everyone said that I was going to grow into my body and proportion out. Then I went into the first grade. I can still remember being called fat by a girl in my class. I remember not being able to shop at the stores that all the other girls in my class would shop at because I didn't fit in any of the clothing sizes. I am not telling you this for your pity. I am simply sharing my story because I know that more girls are struggling with this. I sit in the front row of girls at school struggling with eating disorders simply because girls are determining their worth by what guys and girls tell them. I want to tell you that your worth is not determined by what other people tell you, but by what God says in His word.
I never really was aware of my body issues until I hit middle school. It didn't help that in middle school everyone goes through the awkward puberty stage, but being overweight really decreased my self esteem. And gym class.... what a struggle it was for me. But this is where I started to go to church. My parents just got divorced, feeling abandoned and worthless, I knew I didn't want to find worth in guys at school that really didn't care about me. So I found my worth in Christ. Through growing my relationship with Jesus I still had gluttony issues. I was a stress eater. Whenever I was in my feelings or stressed eating took that pain away. I struggled with this all the way into my junior year in high school... then I finally realized that I needed to change. I was not taking care of my body. I was stuck in my sin... and I needed a way out. You can find out how I did that by reading my other blog "5 months later". But in this blog I really want to focus on how I learned to love my body through this journey.
I want to start off by saying that if anyone wants to take on the challenge of changing your lifestyle to a healthy life style, it is a hard journey but such a rewarding one. I have never had so many up and downs in the past 6 months. You can ask my mom, she will 100% agree with you. There are mornings that I would lay in bed and cry because my body didn't change like I wanted it to that week. But that is when I turn to Jesus' word and hear what He says. I am perfect in the eyes of Him. Let me tell you that those days that I just lay in bed are few. Most of my days are filled with energy and joy because one, eating clean makes you feel so much better. Your body craves healthy food, but us as humans just want to eat what makes us feel good, or at least that is what I struggled with. 2. I have accomplished workouts that I never thought my body could do. If you ask any of my friends they would agree that I tell them that this journey is really almost all mental. Your mind is what is really telling you, you can't while your body can really take on so much more. God designed our bodies to be pretty tolerant. Once you see what your body is made of, you see that you can really lift ten more pounds than last week, it becomes addicting and your self esteem and confidence take on a new level. You learn to love your body and all of the imperfections that come with it.
Now this next part might shock you. I am going to try and be super vulnerable and transparent because I want girls to know that it is possible to love your body and not need a guys affection to feel good about herself. When a girl is confident of Christ's love for her she won't be desperate for attention from guys. She will understand that her worth comes from Jesus and true satisfaction can be found in Him. I thank Jesus everyday that I decided to not date in high school. I have been saved from so many heart breaks. I want to thank pastor Ty Schenzel for teaching me that Jesus loves me more than anybody else, not really but kind of. He was the one who challenged me to not date in high school. I have to say that it was the best challenge that I have taken on. He told me that it would save my heart and I truly can attest that it has. But I would not of been able to do it if I didn't know my worth in Jesus. And how much He loves me. Through this all I have truly learned to love my body and all of it's imperfections. I feel called on a mission to spread this message because I see so many girls now days not loving their imperfections when really you should embrace them. I can tell you right now that the weakest part of my body is my abs. You will see me struggle at the gym all the time when I am doing any core exercise. But I will embrace the struggle because I know that I am growing and pretty soon it's not going to be an imperfection anymore. But the only way it is going to go away is if I embrace the struggle.
So girls... go embrace your weaknesses. Struggling is not the end of the world. You are growing. And soon enough you will learn to love your body and don't let anyone tell you different. You are all beautiful creations and daughters of the one true King.
Love and hugs to the little girls who never are told they are beautiful... you are beautifully and wonderfully made.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ---Psalm 139:14
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